Kindergarten roll call
The teacher read "Pat Albert…" paused, then hollered "FAT ALBERT?!" The whole class lost it. I've been in character ever since.
Panel 1 · 100% real guy
Hey hey hey…
it's Pat Albert
Been called Fat Albert since the very first roll call. Around year thirty I stopped fighting it and started printing it.
The epic showdown
Pat Albert
the real legend
- Catchphrase: "Please don't call me that"
- Physique: dad bod, fully committed
- Crew: real people who answer texts
- Lesson: never trust a name tag
VS
Fat Albert
the cartoon icon
- Catchphrase: "Hey hey hey!"
- Physique: iconic belly of justice
- Crew: the whole neighborhood gang
- Lesson: a moral every episode
Pat Albert tall tales
First-date plot twist
She looked up and said, "Hey hey hey, you really ARE Fat Albert!" Reader, we're still laughing about it.
The airplane shout-out
Pilot over the intercom: "Thank you, passenger Pat Albert… or should I say Fat Albert?" The entire cabin clapped.
Gym trainer energy
He greeted me with "What's up, Big Al?" and hummed the theme song through every single set.
Which Pat are you?
Five questions, zero dignity.
Question 1 of 5
…
The Roast-o-Matic
Type a name, take the hit.
Official designation
Hit me with a Pat-ism
"Hey hey hey… don't call me that."
The soundboard
The cartoon rack
Ten panels on a spinning rack. Drag it, or use the arrows. Click a panel to blow it up.
Loading the rack…
The numbers don't lie
0
Times called Fat Albert
0
Name tags ruined
0
Theme songs hummed at me
0
Regrets about it
Behind the legend
